Mark Riddle

1. Why are you involved in youth ministry?

It seems like this should be an easy question to answer doesn’t it? For some reason I’m struggling. I’ve been doing this long enough to know the right pat answers. I could say that I love kids or that I have a specific call to youth ministry both of which may be true. But there are plenty of people who love kids that aren’t involved in youth ministry. I’ve had plenty of chances to take a different vocational road, to leave the world of youth ministry all-together and do something else, but I’m still here.

I’m still here because I choose to be. That and I believe God is still occasionally at work in who I am and what I do.

I think that deep down it has something to do with my deep love for the church and those who lead it, my compassion for youth pastors and a desire for justice and compassion for how adults in North America engage adolescents.

I know that for some this answer may not seem spiritual, but to me, it is deeply spiritual and is connected to my understanding of God’s heart for his Kingdom to come and his will to be done.

2. What could youth workers do to improve their relationship with their senior pastor?

I’m going to shoot a few idea’s out there in bullet form, with the understanding that Senior Pastors have an equal part in improving the youth pastors/senior pastors relationship.

Youth Pastors could do the following things to improve their relationships with their senior pastors:


- Don’t’ take a job for a church in which you don’t know the Senior Pastor, aren’t able to spend significant time with before you are hired, or a church where the Senior Pastor isn’t interested in an ongoing relationship with you. Period.

- Get to know yourself. The real “you”. The “you” you avoid and don’t really want to know and own your weaknesses and dysfunctional tendencies.

-Take responsibility for mistakes you make.

- Relentlessly pursue a connection/relationship/ friendship with your senior pastor no matter how radically different their personality is from yours.

- Follow through- Do what you say you are going to do.

- Listen more. (Did you hear that one?)

- Spend time regularly unearthing and questioning your own assumptions regarding what youth ministry is, how it is done and who it should involve.

- Find opportunities to tell stories of how God is working in youth within the church.

- Learn to affirm your Senior Pastor even when you don’t agree with him or her.

- Give up the psychosis of always having to be right.

- Educate your Senior Pastor on current Youth Ministry and it’s practices beginning with the need kids and their families have.

- Have your Senior Pastor’s back.

3. Describe a difficult time in your life or ministry and how your faith changed as a result.

About 8 years ago I was serving in a large suburban church and really enjoying my time there. I was 27 years old and had been in working in the church my entire adult life. I realized that I had become a professional Christian. I could not separate my relationship with God and the means by which I received my paycheck. To me this was not acceptable and it demanded a change. So I left my job and took 9 months off from full time vocational ministry. I needed to detox. I gathered a community of people in my home who were processing similar issues. I began to write my thoughts down which became the rants on theooze.com. In the process of deconstructing my faith and vocation I rediscovered what it meant for me to be connected to God. This was a pretty humbling experience for me, which is what I needed. I discovered the power of community and the local church and how much God spoke through it.

4. What five books would your recommend to youth workers on system thinking?

What a great question. I’m convinced most churches and organizations have learning disabilities. They don’t corporately learn very well. When I talk about systems thinking, I’m talking about churches who’s leadership are developing the competencies to learn by looking at assumptions the leaders may have about every variable that influences who their church is, what it values and how it functions. Here are some of the books that I think are great on the subject. It’s important to note that much of this is not easy reading and takes a lifetime to master. But it will change the way you understand yourself and your ministry. Don’t try to read any straight thru.

1. The Fifth Discipline and The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook by Peter Senge

The Fifth Discipline is the staple first book on systems thinking. It’s hard to get through, but the Fieldbook is much easier to understand.

2. The Dance of Change by Peter Senge (and others)

Then Dance of Change is great because it is a workbook as well and further explains the dynamics of a learning organization.

3. Google Chris Argyris and read articles about and by him.

I find Chris Argyris’ books to be hard to read at first, but he is one of the great thinkers on organizational learning so you should not avoid his stuff. Start by reading articles about things he’s written about.

4. Management of the Absurd – Richard Farson

My friend Joe Myers turned me onto Farson’s gem about 6 years ago. A fascinating look at things, from an alternative perspective. I don’t think Farson would consider this book to be about learning organizations, but that is what it is.

5. The Tipping Point – Malcolm Gladwell

You’ve probably read this, but it’s worth mentioning. This book doesn’t talk about systems thinking in the broadest sense, but it dives in to some aspects of it without saying it does.

I’ll add one more that I think is much easier to read and is practical, Organic Community by Joe Myers

5. What is the greatest joy you have in your ministry?

My greatest joy is seeing people building the kingdom of God.

Perhaps it’s a youth pastor who no longer is organizationally forced to be good at everything, sits across the table from me and through the tears says, “You mean if I go to this church you’ve been working with I can be myself?” “I can do what God called me into Youth Ministry for in the first place.”

Perhaps it’s a Senior Pastor who understands his youth pastor for the first time.

Perhaps is the youth who are embraced by the local church in ways they have never experienced before.

These are the things that bring me joy in ministry.


6. What are some common misconceptions that youth workers or churches may have regarding youth ministry?

I think there are things we accept as normal in our youth ministries, that are harmful to our churches, our staff, families and teens.

Here’s a quick list I wrote earlier this year.

1. Youth pastor turnover- That a youth pastor will only stay for a short time.

2. That the success or failure of the spiritual nurture of our kids is based primarily on the giftedness or lack thereof, of a person filling the youth position.

3. That the assumption by church leadership is that best youth pastors are young.

4. That a youth pastor can/will/should disciple themselves without the guidance of a senior pastor.

5. That a healthy gauge to tell when youth ministry is going well is when there are no complaints.

6. That Senior Pastors should not be involved in youth ministry.

7. That parents should not be involved in youth ministry.

8. That we give lip service to parents being the primary spiritual nurturers of their children, but do absolutely nothing to actually support parents in our church.

9. That so many youth pastors who feel called to ministry, leave vocational ministry before they turn 30.

10. That youth ministry is church for teens.

11. That youth have different basic needs than adults.

12. That youth have been systematically abandoned by adults within the culture and the church has done the same.

13. That having a youth pastor means the youth ministry is taken care of.

14. That the best youth ministries keep kids busy.

15. That it's a sin to bore a kid.

16. That kids don't think about theology or they aren't ready for it.

17. That we do very little theological reflection when it comes to why we have a youth ministry.

18. The assumption that kids just want fun and games rather than relationships and theological engagement.

19. That Christian Education is an answer to all our problems.

20. That parental involvement in the spiritual development of their children is optional.

21. That the systematic estrangement of adolescents in our church is best for the kids and their “age level appropriate” activities and living out the gospel.

22. That kids only receive the benefits of a youth ministry/youth pastor and do not need to contribute to make this ministry happen.

23. That youth ministry is something only some of us in the church do.

24. That youth ministry is something that happens in a program at the church.

25. That all problems can be fixed with a program.

26. The perception that once I’ve grown my kids into college that I no longer need to work with youth.

27. That the youth pastor is actually just a director of activities.

28. That we no longer remember what a pastor is in many local churches.

29. That youth pastors have forgotten the reason they got into youth ministry in the first place because they are burdened with responsibilities they are miserable at accomplishing.

30. That the Jesus himself could not live up to the wildly inappropriate expectations a church has for a youth pastor.

31. That there is no healthy way to manage the expectations of the church.

7. What's the most unique thing you've ever bought on e-bay?

I bought a signed golf-ball for my dad, but I was probably ripped off with a fake.

8. How would you love to see youth ministry change?

I think that my answer to number 6 holds some clues for this. These are all rooted in my hope that the churches will live out the kingdom of God as it’s expressed within their staff and youth ministries and that these communities would live by faith, be known by love and be a voice of hope.

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Owner and Lead Consultant for The Riddle Group, Mark brings over 15 years of ministry experience to/with adolescents in church and para-church organizations. Described by his friends as a catalyst, Mark travels around the country and listens to people, and uses his experiences to coach pastors, youth pastors and church leaders toward better health and excellence in their ministries to teens. He has been a leading voice in helping churches reimagine youth ministry beyond a youth pastor centered youth ministry. He's currently writing two books for Youth Specialties/Zondervan.

He lives in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma has been married for almost 14 years and has three kids and a yellow lab.